Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Is Pyar Ko Kya Naam doon: Marriage vs Live In !!!

I think the creatives have very smartly touched upon the issue of live in relationships adding a desi flavour to it obviously. The creatives themselves have tried to practise what they preach by showing they go half way to show us a controversial issue by adding a flavor of acceptance attached to it.

Arnavs represents today: over confident, rash, wanting to break free, caught up with family ties, not knowing what he wants and hence does the opposite of what is being told to him.

Dadi on the other hand represents- traditions, dogma, values and rigidity that has been passed down in the name of good upbringing.

so which one is right?

Shyam warns Arnav, he tells him, there is no harm is making a few sacrifices today to secure a future tomorrow.

Whereas Arnav a man believes in living for the moment. He is unsure of what his tomorrow holds for him. If something goes wrong he thinks he can use his clout and power to bend things his way.

Does one have to really get married to find social acceptance? 

Shyam says, if its just a small ritual or an act that makes the world change the way one looks at a thing, why is Arnav still relunctant? does he believe at some level that marriage is a holy institution and he fears not honoring it? Does he feel, he is too big for the rules of the society? Or does he fear not being recognised in a crowd if he does what everyone else does? 

Either ways it is Arnav's inner struggle to be a man who creates a place for himself such that he is invincible, and for now, he doesnt care its his own family, he wants to prove wrong! well, may be he doesnt, but his acts make it look that way.

Do share your views on what you think about this.

Niharika Vidya Sagar


  1. good article..

    both r right in der place as dey wanna live life on der own terms or have certain rules values or principles set...it also depends on hw much u love ur family or attached u r to dem...lk if anjali wud ask arnav to tk it a bit easy or her displeasure ovr sumthin arnav wud surely think abt it or evn go ahead to do wat pleases his sister..may b arnav is nt dt attached t ny1 in d family except fr his sister..

    n dn ders dis huge ego clash as well..

  2. Hi Nihu

    Live In Vs Marriage

    i could put up pros and cons of both institutions.

    however in relation to Iss Pyar and talking about what Arnav and Naani represent here are my thoughts

    Arnav is not rash, he is very lucid. He follows what his head has worked out to be the best option or best path as per his experience and thinking. That is so today's man. A man as such is very commitment phobic and Arnav is just that.
    he has established a relationship with Lavanya and believes that is best person for him for she represents no threat to him. She follows what he wants, she understands his tastes, likes and even ideology. so he is happy with the status quo. happy to have a girl like that in his life.

    Daadi represent traditions, rituals, culture that is part of her being and upbringing. She believes marriage is a sanctimonious and should be respected. a Girl and guy cannot live together without the respect accorded by marriage. She also fears stigmatization by society especially in her family. She believes the family has gone through similar fate before through the hands of his father.

    yes they are at the opposite end it is called generation gap and that will stay.

    I dont think Arnav lives in the moment. he plans his life and lives by those rules, his rules. He also believes he is never wrong as well.

    he also believes money can solve any situation.

    coming to the question of is marriage taking place for social acceptance?

    Yes and No

    in today's world there are many who do not get married for years and are committed to each other in the west and even in the east.

    Our culture is different and believes marriages are not between two people but two families and the relationships developed due to one act between two people affects all involved.

    is it then just to get social acceptance? not really it is like a talisman that proclaims to the world that one has entered into a relationship not just in front of god or the person but to the world in general. it is evidence of that commitment.

    Arnav is reluctant about marriage for that institution which should be held above all was maligned by his parents perhaps and that has left a bad example with him? Also he in his heart may not feel the love he should for La, the depth he perhaps sees with his brother in law and sister. For he does see that and feels that they have something unique. La is his choice of a woman but he also must know that Naani will not like her... may be subconsciously he is rebelling against what Naani expects from him?

    He does believe his life is his own and to be lived the way he deems fit right. It is the war between young and old.

    well these are some of my thoughts...

  3. the above comment was by me..forgot to put my name at the end..i am sure you will recognise..me anyway!!